Repairing after a conflict with a coworker
For a working relationship strained by one specific incident.
Why this is hard
Work conflict is hard to raise without it sounding like a complaint. People avoid each other, the tension shows up in meetings, and the original incident never gets talked about directly.
How Repaired helps
- You each write your side privately: what happened, how you felt, what you needed, and what you had expected.
- Neither of you reads the other’s side until you have written your own. Then you read theirs and write back what you heard and your own part in it.
- You each write one message to the other. A tone check points out wording that tends to escalate. Neither message is read until both are sent.
- You agree on what each of you will do differently, choose when to check in (weekly, every two weeks, or monthly), and pick a pause phrase for next time.
When something else fits better
Repaired does not replace HR. It is not for harassment, discrimination, or a conflict with someone who manages you. Take those to HR or a manager.
Questions
Does my employer see any of this?
No. Repaired is between the two of you. Nothing is shared with an employer.
Is this mediation?
No mediator is involved. The structure does the work a mediator would: each person is heard in full before anyone responds.
Where to go next
- All guides
Every relationship and problem the library covers, and when something else fits better.
- How the process works
The steps two people go through, and why the order matters.
- How Repaired compares
Therapy, couples apps and AI tools, and when each one fits.