Repairing a friendship after a falling-out
For a rift that text messages keep making worse.
Why this is hard
Friendships rarely have a set way to talk about conflict. Messages get read in the wrong tone, replies come late or not at all, and both people end up guessing what the other meant.
How Repaired helps
- You each write your side privately: what happened, how you felt, what you needed, and what you had expected.
- Neither of you reads the other’s side until you have written your own. Then you read theirs and write back what you heard and your own part in it.
- You each write one message to the other. A tone check points out wording that tends to escalate. Neither message is read until both are sent.
- You agree on what each of you will do differently, choose when to check in (weekly, every two weeks, or monthly), and pick a pause phrase for next time.
When something else fits better
If the friendship has ended by choice, or you need distance more than a conversation, give yourself that first. You can still write your own side in a solo repair and decide later whether to invite them.
Questions
Does my friend need an account?
Yes, a free one. The invite you send by email sets it up. The link works for 72 hours, and you can send a new one.
Is Repaired only for couples?
No. It works for any two people. You choose the relationship when you start.
Where to go next
- All guides
Every relationship and problem the library covers, and when something else fits better.
- How the process works
The steps two people go through, and why the order matters.
- How Repaired compares
Therapy, couples apps and AI tools, and when each one fits.