When the other person is not ready to talk
You can start on your own. They can join when they are ready.
Why this is hard
Waiting for someone to be ready is its own kind of hard. Pushing tends to make them pull back further, and doing nothing leaves you replaying the argument.
How Repaired helps
- Start a solo repair. You write your own side privately: what happened, how you felt, what you needed. It counts as real work on its own.
- When you choose, invite them by email. If they have not joined after 2 days, Repaired sends them one gentle reminder. It never sends more than that.
- After 5 days you can send your side so they can read it and respond, or keep the repair as your own reflection. The invite stays open either way.
- If they join, you both continue through the same steps: listening, a message each, and an agreement.
When something else fits better
If they have said clearly that they do not want contact, respect that. A solo repair still helps you understand your own side without involving them.
Questions
Will they see what I wrote before they write their own side?
Not by default. Only if you choose to send your side early, after they have had time to start.
What if they never respond?
After 45 days with no response the repair closes quietly. Your own writing is kept.
Where to go next
- All guides
Every relationship and problem the library covers, and when something else fits better.
- How the process works
The steps two people go through, and why the order matters.
- How Repaired compares
Therapy, couples apps and AI tools, and when each one fits.